Trousers down, Mr Gove. It's time for your conservative test or at least it says so in the Mail.
I’m not sure I approve of cruel sex examinations for gruff-voiced female athletes.
But I really do think we need some sort of intrusive trousers-down test to discover whether Tory MPs really are conservatives.
Most of them would fail it. Parliament is full of political hermaphrodites and neuters. You can see it most clearly over Afghanistan.
As we learned last week, the country is sick of this stupid, doomed adventure and of the Government’s cretinous fantasies about democracy and elections in that place.
Quite a humorous read this one to start with. Read all of it if you have the time. As the good people of this land are doomed to a Conservative government after the next election this is as good a time as any for you to get used to the idea that there really is no difference between the Conservative and labour parties.